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Mindfulness Is More Than A Mindset

From bullet journals to hot yoga, and five minute breathing exercises to weekend meditation retreats, mindfulness is the hashtag-goals wellness buzzword of the moment… and rightly so. It’s hard to argue with all the documented health benefits of being fully present in your activities and relationships.

But is mindfulness a magic cure for painful sex? That’s what many of my patients have been told by well-meaning friends, partners, and even medical practitioners and professional counselors. And I’ll tell you what I tell them:

The pain isn’t in your head; it’s in your muscles. It’s in your nervous system. It’s a complex interplay of the two in many cases.

What makes me so confident of that? I trust the science behind women’s physical therapy – decades of documented research that proves the pain has treatable, physical causes, not to mention the thousands of women I’ve personally treated who are now having pain free sex.

But I’m an equal opportunity champion of science; and of course, I want my patients to have every tool at their disposal on the journey to recovery. So I took a look recently at the scientific research exploring the effects of mindfulness on painful sex.

The first takeaway? We need a lot more research. According to a recent article in the Journal Of Sexual Medicine, the scientific community has been studying the effects of mindfulness-based therapy (MBT) on a wide variety of physical and psychological conditions for more than thirty years. In all that time, only fifteen articles have been published about the link between MBT and sexual dysfunction; and just four of those studies focused on treatment of painful intercourse.

Those studies – which also included patient education about sexual pleasure and physical pain, pelvic floor therapy, muscle relaxation therapy, and more – concluded that the mindfulness-based therapies, while promising, “did not make a significant change in a reduction of pain during sexual activities.”

That’s a relief to my patients who have spent years struggling with shame surrounding a mind over matter failure to ‘just get over it’. But the same research offers some good news about the mindfulness practices included in the studies. Participants (as many as fifty percent in one study) reported significant reduction of “distress linked to sexual activity and sensitivity to pain”. And those aren’t the only documented benefits.

How Mindfulness-Based Therapy Can Help With Painful Sex

  • Improved general functioning despite pain
  • Improved recognition of negative pain-related thoughts
  • Improved self-esteem and self assurance
  • Improved relationship with partners
  • Reduction in anxiety about sexual activity
  • Minor increase in sexual desire, satisfaction, and orgasm

No amount of mindfulness alone can cure pain with a physical cause; and I’ve seen firsthand how the stress generated by that myth does more harm than good to women suffering from painful sex. But mindfulness-based therapy can play an important and effective role in a holistic, medically sound approach to treating painful sex.

However you practice mindfulness, that’s one more good reason to add it to your overall health and wellness routine.

Jaderek I., Lew-Starowicz M. 2019. A Systematic Review On Mindfulness Meditation-Based Interventions For Sexual Dysfunctions. J Sex Med 16:10 1581-1596.

What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by Lauren B.

Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) has been such an answer to prayer, i'm so glad I found them! I've been struggling with vaginismus my whole life, but didn't have a name for it until about 6 or 7 months ago. Even once I did have a name for it though, I didn't know where to begin in getting help. My OB/GYN had me get a set of dilators, but I couldn't even insert the smallest one by myself. Most times I tried I just ended up frustrated and in tears. I felt really alone, like I was broken and didn't have the energy to keep trying. When I got engaged a few months ago though, I realized I needed to get answers so i wasn't dreading my honeymoon.

Read more: Testimonial by Lauren B.

Testimonial by S.B.

As someone who suffered the debilitating physical and emotional effects of vaginismus (as well as a complicated history of back injuries) for more than 15 years, I thought a "normal" life was just a fantasy. Then I found Heather.

Read more: Testimonial by S.B.

Testimonial by Jackie W.

I was in multiple car accidents a decade ago, and I have been to many physical therapists through the years without success. They found the root of my lower back pain problems and after nearly a decade of barely being able to walk I finally can again without pain. They are also the best pelvic floor pts and the only ones who found the connection between my pelvic floor and lower back problems. If you need help with physical pain, they are your answer.

-- Jackie W., 1/19/17 via Yelp!

Testimonial by Fritzette H.

I went to Heather after the birth of my third child. It was lucky, really, that I was referred to her, because my doctor had referred me to a surgeon for a possible hysterectomy or pelvic wall rebuild. Thankfully, I went to Heather before undergoing either surgery, she was able to fix the problem. She has studied extensively in women's health--even written a book about it--and was able to diagnose my problem, suggest a course of treatment (6 weeks), and then follow through with said treatment. By the end, as she said, I was as good as gold. Boy, was it worth it! Though uncomfortable to talk about, much less write about, it is worth getting the word out there. If you have painful intercourse, especially after birth or other trauma, the treatment may be as simple as Physical Therapy (with Heather, of course). I highly recommend her.

-- Fritzette H., 3/24/16 via Yelp!

Testimonial by Ann V.

I wish i could give this place 10 stars!! 
I have been suffering from vaginismus for 5 years and never found the cure to it. I had seen an ob/gyn and he diagnosed me with vaginismus and told me i needed a surgery to cure my condition, which i refused to do. He also referred me to a PT that he works with, i had given them multiple calls and they never responded back to me, so i started searching yelp for another PT. I am SO HAPPY I found Heather's office! I was working with Laureen, and with her guidance and techniques i was able to be cured from vaginismus in only 2 1/2 short months!!! I couldn't believe how quickly their program worked for me! I am forever grateful and thankful from Heather, and Laureen! They are the absolute best at what they do!

Read more: Testimonial by Ann V.

Testimonial by R.M., Age 40

I can’t speak highly enough of the theapists at Femina Physical Therapy and how much they have helped me grow, discover, and love my body. I had had painful sex for my entire life, and didn’t know that there was anything that could be done about it. It was at the point where my husband and I were not having sex for MONTHs, because it was just too frustrating, and I hated feeling like I was the ONLY woman out there who had this problem, especially at my age. I finally brought it up to my doctor because I was turning 40 and my husband and I were barely having enough sex to conceive. And she brought up pelvic floor, PT. I didn’t even know this was a “thing”.

Read more: Testimonial by R.M., Age 40

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