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Heather Jeffcoat at Buzzfeed
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things you should have been taught in sex ed
Cassandra Corrado / Via giphy.com
Buzzfeed author Lara Parker penned a highly informative article on all types of things you should have been taught in sex ed, and she reached out to Heather Jeffcoat for her advice on how to deal with issues of painful sex and related concerns. Here is a brief synopsis, with a link to the full article below.

Things You Should Have Been Taught in Sex Ed

Here's Some Sex Education You Actually Need, Including How Much Porn Is Too Much and Whether You Really Need to Pee After Sex

Let's just say there's a lot that's not always covered in sex ed.

Sometimes the sex education we learn around the world isn't, well, that educational. So we've spoken to sex educators, doctors, and medical experts of all kinds to compile some information we think everyone should have access to. This list is not exhaustive, and will probably always need adding onto, so feel free to let us know what you may still be curious about at the end!

19. Painful sex is not normal. And according to Dr. Heather Jeffcoat, pelvic floor physical therapist and author of the book, Sex Without Pain, sex is not supposed to hurt — ever! If it does, the reasons for this pain must be determined. She adds that, unfortunately, our society has normalized pain to the point where women are not seeking what could be critical care. So let's dive into reasons as to why this may be the case.

Treatments that can not only lead them to a painfree sex life, but that may also uncover medical conditions that could and should be treated in a timely manner. There is always a reason for painful sex, says Dr. Jeffcoat, but the challenge can be in finding a provider that will be the detective to help you find the reason and set up the right treatment plan. If a provider tells you "there is nothing wrong" and you are having pain, you need to switch providers. There are many reasons that sex could hurt for those with vaginas including but not limited to:

  1. vaginismus
  2. vulvodynia or vestibulodynia and subtypes of these (including clitordynia (or clitoral pain)
  3. endometriosis
  4. hymen abnormalities (such as an imperforate or septate hymen)
  5. vaginal septum
  6. local or systemic hormone deficiencies (typically estrogen and testosterone)
  7. Lichen sclerosus or lichens planus
  8. sexually transmitted infections
  9. Bartholin’s cyst
  10. Ovarian cyst
  11. other infections such as yeast or UTI
  12. vaginal ulcer
  13. post-operative pain due to scar tissue

The pain being "all in your head", by the way, is never a reason. If you are ever told this by a provider, you should immediately go find a new provider.

The above is just a brief excerpt from this detailed article. For 28 other things you should have been taught in sex ed, continue to the full article here.

What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by J.B.

My husband and I were having problems with painful intercourse. My therapist recommended that I go and get a pelvic floor evaluation from a physical therapist. Having never been treated by a physical therapist, I wondered how this really was going to help me. My husband who is a physician was very supportive and agreed that a PT evaluation would be a great idea. So i made the appointment and was blown away by what I learned. I had no idea that pelvic floor muscles could get tight and have trigger points just like any other muscle in the body. I'm a massage therapist and very familiar with tight muscles, and this new thought really amazed me. Heather's program to help relax and strengthen these muscles made such a difference. I can say that I am 100% pain free during intercourse now. Yippee! Going to the PT appointments and doing the at-home exercises was definitely a discipline, but it's 100% worth it! The rewards are amazing.

-- J.B.

Testimonial by Alexandra B.

Heather is without exaggerating AMAZING! After years of trouble with a certain part of my body, in no time, she made everything change back to equilibrium and to what would be considered normal. She explains everything in detail and therefore gives you a better understanding of why things are the way they are, and how you can work towards turning things around. I would highly recommend Heather for any type of Physical Therapy. She has created her own "Method/Therapy" through years of studying (with some of the greatest practitioners), practice and breaking down the issues of her past patients, enabling her to fine tune her own system. I'm so thankful to have found her, and I'm especially grateful for the quick recovery I've achieved, after years of distress. If you cannot afford her, I recommend you purchase her book. Although it may not be Heather in person, it can still help you to get on the right path to recovery!

-- Alexandra B., 5/20/2015 via Yelp!

Testimonial by R.M., Age 40

I can’t speak highly enough of the theapists at Femina Physical Therapy and how much they have helped me grow, discover, and love my body. I had had painful sex for my entire life, and didn’t know that there was anything that could be done about it. It was at the point where my husband and I were not having sex for MONTHs, because it was just too frustrating, and I hated feeling like I was the ONLY woman out there who had this problem, especially at my age. I finally brought it up to my doctor because I was turning 40 and my husband and I were barely having enough sex to conceive. And she brought up pelvic floor, PT. I didn’t even know this was a “thing”.

Read more: Testimonial by R.M., Age 40

Testimonial by R.S.

I wanted to thank you so much for helping me get through something I thought I may never be able to. We have achieved pain-free intercourse and this has really solidified our marriage. We are so grateful to you for all the work you do! Thank you!!

-- R.S.

Testimonial by R.H.

No one could tell me why I was having pain during sex--sharp pain, not just uncomfortable, pain. I was referred to Heather Jeffcoat after researching several different options. I had seen a specialist who told me physical therapy would not help and my only option was surgery. I really didn't want to go that route, so when we got a referral, I decided to try it--it can't hurt, I thought. I am so glad I did. She diagnosed the problem right away, which was a relief in itself.

To know why I was having pain eased my mind immensely. And to hear that she could fix it without surgery was another relief. She said she could fix the problem in 6 weeks. I think it was actually 4 for me. She was very methodical, and treated me as an intelligent human being capable of participating in my own recovery. I would absolutely recommend her to anyone. She did not try to prolong my session numbers, she worked hard to accommodate my schedule (and the fact that I had to bring a baby to sessions), and she was completely honest the entire time. It is so hard to find someone with these characteristics, much less a professional who is so good at what she does. She has my highest respect.

-- R.H.

Testimonial by R.S.

I wanted to thank you so much for helping me get through something I thought I may never be able to. We have achieved pain-free intercourse and this has really solidified our marriage. We are so grateful to you for all the work you do! Thank you!!

-- R.S.

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