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Heather Jeffcoat
Have You Ever Asked "How Do I Know If I Came or Accidentally Peed During Sex?"
You might be surprised to learn how common this question actually is.
Everyone knows the sensation of having to pee so bad that you thought you would explode. Perhaps the nearest public restrooms are closed for repairs, or you are stuck in traffic with no end in sight, or you're in a long line to get in a movie and you don't want to lose your place in line. In any case, that rush of relief that you feel when you finally get to go is probably the closest you can get to having an orgasm without actually doing so - with the possible exception of a really good sneeze!
But what if you regularly have a hard time distinguishing between the sensation of peeing and having an orgasm? If you're an avid reader of our site you know that we have addressed all kinds of issues that include both having an orgasm and peeing, but this is the first time we've ever addressed getting the two mixed up! Gabrielle Kassel went on a deep dive looking for answers in this latest article, which begins:
What’s the short answer?
Sadly, yelling “Hey Siri, did I just come or pee???” after sex won’t give you the answer you want.
And if not knowing the answer isn't enough of a mood killer, the failures of AI just rubbed salt into the wound, so to speak! Of course it helps to know what an orgasm feels like, right? Ask Siri that too while you're at it - haha! Better yet, ask some real people. The article continues:
What does an orgasm feel like — does it depend on the type?
Asking what an orgasm feels like is like asking what happens after death, or which Survivor contestant was the best. Ask 100 people and you’ll get 100 different answers.
Common descriptions for orgasm include:
- Release of pressure
- Waves of goodness
- Pulse of pleasure
- Tingling ecstasy
- Fireworks
- Breath of fresh air after being underwater
If any of the above rings true to you, chances are you already know the difference between the two bodily functions. But in the heat of the moment, some people still have difficulty knowing which is which. And then there's the matter of not being able to orgasm at all, or at least not with a feeling of satisfaction - and sometimes even with accompanying pain. This is known as dysorgasmia, and we have a number of articles about it here.
Then there's the matter of "squirting", which occurs when fluid is explled from the urethra during sexual arrousal. While there is not a definitive difference between "squirting" and female ejaculation, the sensation of either can fall in the gray area somewhere between peeing and having an orgasm - which is not surprising considering the source of this fluid is the urethra rather than the vagina. And some women experience squirting during orgasm, which further clouds the issue.
Let's say you've come this far (pun intended!) and still aren't sure. What should you do if you feel like you accidentally peed?
First things first: Breathe. Sex features a whole slew of bodily fluids! It’s messy! It’s wet! So if you did pee, no big.
Immediately afterward, let your comfort levels and hygiene preferences dictate your next move. In general, it’s a good move to throw your sheets in the wash, hop in the shower, and disinfect any sex toys you used.
Whether you tell your partner is up to you. You are not obligated to tell your partner! If you tell them, it’s because you’re sharing a bit more info about what that sexperience was like for you.
You could say:
“That felt different than usual! I think I may have peed a little bit. Did you notice anything different in how my body was responding?”
“Baby, can you get out of bed for a second? I peed a little bit during sex so I want to toss these blankets into the wash.”
Sharing this kind of intel with your partner is vulnerable. But how your partner responds will tell you a lot about their suitability as a long-term partner. No lover who deserves you will make you feel bad about anything your body did during sex!
Is there anything you can do to prevent accidental urination moving forward?
The article then goes deeper into the topic of "watersports" vs what is known as "coital incontinence":
If you peed during sex once or twice, there’s no need to ring the alarm.
But if peeing during sex becomes a regular thing, Heather Jeffcoat, a doctor of physical therapy who specializes in sexual dysfunction, pain, and incontinence, and author of “Sex Without Pain: A Self-Treatment Guide to the Sex Life You Deserve” recommends talking with a healthcare professional.
Peeing regularly during sex is known as coital incontinence. It could be a symptom of pelvic floor dysfunction, urethral dysfunction, or another form of incontinence, such as stress incontinence and mixed incontinence.
The reason working with a healthcare professional is crucial is that there are treatments for coital incontinence, such as pelvic floor therapy, surgery, bladder training, and pharmacology.
In other words, with the proper treatment plan, you may be able to stop peeing while you play!
To be clear: Here, we’re talking about peeing accidentally during sex. Peeing intentionally during sex (AKA enjoying “watersports”) is different, and does not call for medical intervention.
The bottom line
There is a lot more to this topic that is covered in the full article here. And if you still find yourself asking "how do I know if I came or accidentally peed?", click here to schedule an appointment with us.
